Heriot to Fund

From: Gail Heriot [SMTP:gheriot@acusd.edu]  
To: John.Fund@dowjones.com 
Cc:  

Subject: Silly? Yes. But what's a girl to do? 
Sent: 1/13/02 10:05 PM
Importance: Normal 
Hi Cutie--

        I'm on Exam No. 61--a landmark.  I'm celebrating by taking a break.  I
figure I'll be done by Monday night, provided the raccoons in my back yard
don't come back tonight.  They're so darn cute, they're distracting.

        I've been ruminating about what you said on the telephone yesterday--that
I'm insecure.  If you mean that I'm insecure about you and me, of course
you're right.  I do feel insecure--although in the grand scheme of things
my feelings signify less about me (or you) than they do about external
circumstances.  We live on opposite coasts; we're both busy, and we don't
know each other very well.  I'd have to be daft not to feel insecure; I've
not done anything to earn security.  There are a lot of women out there who
can spend one night a month with you and do a little sightseeing just as
well as I can.  Some even better ....  (I would give you their phone
numbers, but I'm not yet convinced that it's in my interest.)

        I'm amused by your statement that you *do* know me.  It's the journalist
in you.  You are paid to make quick judgments about people and situations,
drawing mostly on the public record.  It's your job to have the first word
on a topic, and you're very good at it.

        As an academic, I'm paid to have the last word on a subject.  It makes me
slower to form opinions about people and things.  Academics are ruminant
creatures.

        My fear is that I will remain insecure about us.  We see each other so
seldom that we may never really get a sense of each other.  If true, it
will be a shame. It's possible that we'd make a good pair, maybe even a
great pair.  I am not inclined to turn loose of you until that possibility
has been explored.  On the other hand, I'd prefer not to die of old age
still wondering.

        So allow me to introduce myself.  I am Gail Heriot, the woman whose hotel
room you've found yourself in a few times over the last six weeks.

        First, for whatever reason, you get to me.  There aren't that many men who
do ....

        My four best qualities are that I'm smart, brave, true and
industrious.  There are many things I'm insecure about; these are not among
them.

                Smart--Yes, there are smarter women in the world, but the objective
indicators suggest that they are pretty darn rare, even in the rarified
circles in which you travel.  If you decide to dump me because I'm not
smart enough for you, you'd better be prepared for a long period of celibacy.

                Brave--This is actually an illusion.  I'm not brave at all; I'm really
just dutiful, but that's usually the case with people who are called
brave.  I'd have make a good Army Ranger if I weren't such a klutz.

                True--Well, Diogenes, you were the one who said you wanted an honest
woman.  Be careful what you wish for.  Honest women can be too blunt
sometimes.  They don't always say things the way they intended.  And they
require honesty in return.  It's not a universal taste.

                Industrious--Nobody works harder than I do.  A lot of people are more
efficient.  I wish I understood why.

        My worst qualities (among those I'm aware of) are that I'm impatient,
disorganized and slovenly about the office.

                Impatient--I would explain this in greater detail, but I simply lack the
patience.  It manifests itself most often around idiots and
bureaucrats.  So far, I've never gotten violent, but I suppose there's
always a first time ....

                Disorganized--I can only do one thing at a time.  When I get really
interested in something, I forget to eat, sleep or attend to the ordinary
duties of modern existence.  Not everyone is amused.

                Slovenly--My desk is a mess.  I worry about this with you.  I know that
ethnic stereotypes are a terrible, terrible thing, but you were reared by a
German mother.  If she's trained you to be like her countrymen, you won't
like my desk. Curiously, my house is not messy (except the
refrigerator).  There are two reasons for this.  First, I take a lot of
care in decorating and I don't want it all to go to waste. Second, our
country's immigration policies allow me to hire household help cheaply.
       
                I'm sure I have other bad qualities, which you will figure out if you
hang around long enough.  I'm not sure if it signifies anything, but those
who have been around me longest tend to like me best.  I'm not sure if it's
because I grow on people or because those that figure me out do so early
and flee for their lives

                This is getting too long.  I'm going out to forage for food.  It's your turn.

Gail

p.s.  My favorite book is Alice in Wonderland.  My second favorite book is
Through the Looking Glass.  I don't have a third or fourth favorite book,
but my fifth favorite book is Paul Johnson's Modern Times.

Yes, please give me a call.  I will be at a school choice conference at the
other end of campus all afternoon, and I think I'm supposed to have dinner
with Clint Bolick tonight.  But I will be in my office (619 260 2331) at
11:15 my time if you could call me then.  I'm not sure what other times
I'll be there if that doesn't work.  I'll figure that out if I don't hear
from you at 11:15.

   At 07:32 AM 1/18/02 -0500, you wrote:
>  Thank you. I will call you today. I appreciate your giving a fair hearing.
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Gail Heriot
>To: John.Fund@dowjones.com
>Sent: 1/17/02 7:52 PM
>
>
>I hope you get some sleep.  I saw the retraction in the NY Post and a
>few
>of the other recent things on the net. You were right.  Mother
>Pillsbury-Foster really is crazy.